Social-Emotional
Gifted people are also gifted emotionally, and this can be both beneficial and harmful. We refer to the social-emotional needs of gifted children as "Affective Needs", and a regular portion of the CATS curriculum focuses on affective needs.
As a parent you'll want to be aware of these needs, and also recognize when to step back and when to step in. Sometimes it is difficult to know when an 'issue' becomes a 'problem'. It is further difficult to recognize that these are not problems we can 'fix', but rather, problems we 'cope with'. We are fortunate to have some highly qualified, local professionals who can guide students through developing coping skills, because it is likely that your child may, at some point, need extra guidance in nagivating through the emotional ins and outs of life.
WHAT YOU SEE | HOW IT HELPS | HOW IT HURTS | WHAT TO DO | WHEN TO SEEK HELP |
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Perfectionism | Healthy perfectionism can be motivating, lead to high quality work, feel invigorating upon completion of work, and contribute to a sense of accomplishment and pride. As long as a child separates their identity from their work, perfectionism can be empowering. | When the perfectionism turns inward, there is cause for concern. When a child isn't concerned about having a perfect project but instead strives to BE the perfect PERSON, this can lead to a self-loathing. When a desire to create the perfect project becomes so overwhelming that the child refuses to make any attempt, this can halt academic progress. |
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When you notice that your child's perfectionism is leading to self-loathing, negative self-talk, frequent emotional outbursts/crying fits, procrastination, and work avoidance, it may be time to consider seeking a counselor to help your child develop coping strategies. |
WHAT YOU SEE | HOW IT HELPS | HOW IT HURTS | WHAT TO DO | WHEN TO SEEK HELP |
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Heightened Awareness | Heightened awareness is often referred to as 'being sensitive'. A sensitive child will experience stronger emotions, so simple joys may become truly delightful. They are sympathetic, better aware of their surroundings, and are very perceptive of things happening around them. They recognize their own needs, so they are better at self-care than others. | Heightened awareness also means understanding the true gravity of the situation when, for example, Dad loses his job. It makes teasing from peers feel especially hurtful and confusing, and name-calling becomes intolerable. They may cry easily and often, making an easy target for a would-be bully. |
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If your child shows signs to indicate that he is struggling to manage his emotions, it may be time to find some extra support. Take note if you are frequently observing your child crying, having emotional high and low swings, or sulking/withdrawing from activities or people he usually enjoys. |
WHAT YOU SEE | HOW IT HELPS | HOW IT HURTS | WHAT TO DO | WHEN TO SEEK HELP |
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Heightened Anxiety | Stress is a normal, necessary, and useful human emotion. Good stress is referred to as "Eustress". Anxiety tends to lead to 'worst case scenario' thinking, which is extremely useful in friendships and leadership roles. Anxiety is also linked to increased motivation and excitement, and a degree of anxiousness is essential to quality performance. Eustress has been shown to increase cognitive brain function. | Anxiety can also be debilitating, manifesting as fear, inability to act, guilt, and worry. It effects health as well, including a increase in illnesses like flu, digestion problems, memory loss, and weight gain. Negative, chronic stress can be referred to as "distress". |
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Generally, anxiety should be situational. If it seems to be 'chronic', meaning your child defaults to anxiousness in most situations, or his anxiety seems irrational, you may be interested in seeking a counselor for support and strategies. |
WHAT YOU SEE | THINGS TO KNOW | WHAT TO DO | WHEN TO SEEK HELP | Friendships and Identity Issues | Friendships can be tricky for gifted kids, and not suprisingly,
asynchronocity is often the culpret.
Consider this:
When gifted children struggle to find true peers, they may develop a dislike of school and other social situations. |
If your child struggles to make friends, consider taking the following steps:
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Kids will usually be verbal about feeling lonely, or lacking friendships. Many counselors have developed some great plans to assist children in developing social skills and making friends. |
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Local Professionals
If you decide to enlist the help of a professional, here are a few counselors that former CATS students have used with success:
- Agnes M. Meyo * St. Louis * (314) 569-0009
- Emily Kircher-Morris * O'Fallon' * (210) 205-6754
- Gifted Counseling St. Louis * St. Louis * (314) 254-3222
- Supporting the Gifted LLC * Chesterfield * (314) 517-1230